sin.

I'm well aware this word has so many negative associations that we'd rather just avoid it altogether. But the truth is, to ignore sin would be to severely minimize the fierce beauty of God's love. Sin creates a chasm, a canyon, between us and God. It mars our world, mars us. But what is it?

The Sunday school answer of "sin is breaking God's rules" is not completely false. It's just not the complete truth. I've heard the it defined "missing the mark" or "falling short." Again, it's not that I don't agree with these statements, they just don't give us the whole picture. These definitions paint God as merely a lawgiver and judge void of any personality or interest in our well-being. It's as if God exists to keep a running total of our mistakes.

And then, on the other hand, I started learning definitions of sin such as "rebellion against God" or "finding an identity apart from God." These ideas resonate with God's relational nature and do more justice to what sin actually does to my relationship with Him. When I rebel against Him, I push Him away and tell Him my way is better. A rift is created, and our friendship is broken.

But whenever I study sin, the rule-breaking idea keeps coming up...and if God is ruler of the universe, He must maintain order of it. So I can't dismiss those definitions altogether. But how to reconcile "missing the mark" with "rebellion against God"? Rule-following vs. relationship? God gives rules, yes? See Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy...but what is the greatest commandment? The greatest command is "love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength." So, get this, THE rule to follow is "Love God." Seriously. It's rule about relationship. Love comes first. So back to sin. Sin=breaking God's perfect laws=not LOVING Him with everything=rebelling against Him. Bingo.

So as God watches us, I don't think He sees naughty children coloring outside the lines; instead, He sees us giving our love away to things and people that cannot truly give us the love we so crave and need. He watches these things squeeze the life out of us, disfiguring and breaking us on the inside. In the process we become people who take and take some more, trying to find life for ourselves somehow. And as we take, we become murderers, stealing the life out of those around us. And yet, we're also dead inside. We're all running around loving things that leave us loveless and becoming unlovable people. We have destroyed the garden. God composed a symphony, we write our own discordant parts instead; He painted a masterpiece, and we smear black ink across the crystal blue sky. Sin is ugly.

But where sin increased, grace increased all the more. He can make the lawbreaker innocent. He can repair the broken relationship between Himself and rebellious man. And He can bring the dead to life.

True Spirituality

Not always having answers, but admitting you don't know.
Not having arrived, but journeying towards an end.
Not mystical, but tangible.
Not superiority, but desperation.
Not always having the right words, but braving the silence.
Not perfected, but moldable.
Not neat, but picking up the pieces.
Not feeling emotion, but knowing truth.
Not belief in facts, but knowing Jesus Christ.



Any more?

How is it possible to try so hard to be a "good Christian" and yet lose sight of looking like Christ?

Usually, when we, as Christians, read about Jesus hanging out with tax collectors, prostitutes, and other known "sinners", we think, "okay, that means we need to take care of society's outcasts." And yes, if you're going to follow Jesus, you should.

But when was the last time you thought of yourself as one of those sinners?

We are all desperately helpless people in need of grace, friends. Join the circle of broken people reclining around the table with the Savior.

Facebook, schmacebook...

In the midst of all this hype over Facebook privacy controls and what not...I have an opinion on social networking. And it has nothing to do with how much Big Brother is watching. It doesn't have anything to do with its addictive nature, though it may be a cause. I have come to the conclusion that we can begin to live vicariously through one other on the Internet.

Facebook started out innocently enough; it was a tool to connect with people far away or new friends at school. Even then, be honest, how much time did you waste flipping through pictures? Enter the stalkerfeed. No longer did you have to search for what Johnny was doing on Saturday night, whether Ken and Barbie were still dating, or what Joe and Bob's wall-to-wall was. No, newsfeed brought it to your immediate attention. So, in case of boredom...login to facebook and find out what everyone else was doing while you stayed home and watched reruns. Now, my problem is not the sharing of life via facebook. My problem is the incomplete sharing of life via facebook that parades itself as sharing of LIFE.

Seriously, who posts pictures of himself folding laundry? Who updates her status while paying bills? Who writes about running errands? Who wants to broadcast to the world the mundane boring details of his life? Not of my friends. This is a problem, not because they should, but because if I'm not careful, I can start to believe my life is dull and uninteresting in comparison to my friends who are clearly living a constant string of deep thoughts, parties, crazy photo shoots, bonfires, vacations on the beach, and outdoor concerts. Obviously, this is not the case...because they had to be staring at their computer just as I am, to even share these details. Yet, the irony is that life is not all lived in the Kodak moments or "like"-able events. It's happening, here as we speak, and if we're too busy trying to update our status, we might just miss it.

Another year gone by...

One school year. Two semesters. Nine months. Four journals. Four seasons. Thirty CRUs. A bottle of shampoo. Candles burned. A few boxes of tissue. The same box of dryer sheets I've had since freshman year. Endless boxes of cereal. Skype chats. Books read. Pieces learned. Games of scrabble won (and lost.) Papers written. Cups of coffee. and vanilla chamomile tea. Pictures taken. Dreams ignited. Whispered prayers. Dark nights. Moments of desperation. Moments of absolute, unbridled ecstasy. I'm not sure how to summarize this year...but here's a some random snippets from throughout the year. Mostly the fall. Get over it.

"Lord, let me make a difference for you utterly disproportionate to who I am." -David Brainerd

"You gotta get hungrier and want it even more." -John McEnroe

"Drinking Jesus is like drinking through a swizzle straw..." -Steve Rieske

"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it onto completion until the day of Christ Jesus." -Phillipians 1:6

10.03.09 Everything over my head is under Jesus' feet.

"Believing is seeing." -Jeff Wilbarger

"Being listened to is so close to being loved, most people can't tell the difference." -David Oxberg

"If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking." -John Mark McMillan

"We can do no great things, only small things with great love." -Mother Teresa

"Intense love does not measure, it just gives." -Mother Teresa

"When darkness veils his lovely face, I rest in his unchanging grace."

"Thou on my head in early youth didst smile, and though rebellious and perverse meanwhile, Thou hast not left me, though I oft left thee, on to the close Lord, abide with me."

I'm realizing more and more, how much of my life, even walking with God, I have relied on approval and attention of others...

I'm ready to be done with it.