I can remember the first time someone finally put a finger on it.
I was 12 years old, writing a research paper on Chopin for my seventh grade English class. I came across a line that perfectly identified what I experienced when I played Chopin. It spoke of Chopin's music as depicting a journey toward an "unattainable feeling."
That was it.
As a young girl, Chopin had awakened my heart to feel. Really feel. Things like Longing. Desire. Angst. Yearning.
The deep stirring in the soul. Longing for transcendence. Integration. Wholeness. Shalom.
Even though others belittled my seemingly foolish heart, I knew it was true. So I refused to give in on my search for this "unattainable feeling," For years, I chased it down and never found. Until, as a sophomore in college, I heard my friend Steve say that "the Bible is for those who yearn for Eden."
And in that moment, I knew that my yearning had a place with the longings of all of humanity, and that God had not abandoned me in my desire. I was not alone. And you, my friend, are not either.
In her book, Invitation to Solitude and Silence, Ruth Haley Barton says this:
This is Advent. God became man because He desires us. Not anything from us. Us. Human beings. Our hearts. Our souls. Our bodies. The deep groans of the soul are not without purpose. On the contrary, they are His whispers, inviting us to be immersed into the depths of His Being.
What will you do with your desire this Christmas? You can pretend the desire doesn't exist, give into despair because the desire is too much to bear, or follow your desire out to sea. Following desire is a risk. Is it worth it? I'll let you decide for yourself.
I was 12 years old, writing a research paper on Chopin for my seventh grade English class. I came across a line that perfectly identified what I experienced when I played Chopin. It spoke of Chopin's music as depicting a journey toward an "unattainable feeling."
That was it.
As a young girl, Chopin had awakened my heart to feel. Really feel. Things like Longing. Desire. Angst. Yearning.
The deep stirring in the soul. Longing for transcendence. Integration. Wholeness. Shalom.
Even though others belittled my seemingly foolish heart, I knew it was true. So I refused to give in on my search for this "unattainable feeling," For years, I chased it down and never found. Until, as a sophomore in college, I heard my friend Steve say that "the Bible is for those who yearn for Eden."
And in that moment, I knew that my yearning had a place with the longings of all of humanity, and that God had not abandoned me in my desire. I was not alone. And you, my friend, are not either.
In her book, Invitation to Solitude and Silence, Ruth Haley Barton says this:
"Your desire for God is the truest and most essential thing about you. It is truer than your sin, it is truer than your woundedness, it is truer than your net worth, your marital status or any role or responsibility you hold. Your desire for God and your capacity to connect with God as a human soul is the essence of who you are. But there is an even greater truth: before you were even aware of your desire for God, God desired you."
This is Advent. God became man because He desires us. Not anything from us. Us. Human beings. Our hearts. Our souls. Our bodies. The deep groans of the soul are not without purpose. On the contrary, they are His whispers, inviting us to be immersed into the depths of His Being.
What will you do with your desire this Christmas? You can pretend the desire doesn't exist, give into despair because the desire is too much to bear, or follow your desire out to sea. Following desire is a risk. Is it worth it? I'll let you decide for yourself.
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